Two Months Down - 6 Months To Go!

"It's been a hard days night, And I've been working like a dog, It's been a hard days night, I should be sleeping like a log. But when I get home to you, I find the things that you do, Will make me feel alright."

Well - I don't really work that hard but it sure is nice to have a home where I belong. We are happy to be down 2; 6 (or so) to go!! We would like to give a shout out to Little O. We love you.

"When I home ev'rything seems to be right, When I home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah."

How do you say thank you?

Brian and I did not meet Noah until he was almost 11 months old. That leaves what sometime seems like a lifetime almost unknown to us. What was his first mom's journey to adoption like? What songs did she sing to her growing belly? What dreams did she have for her sweet baby boy? And how do I say thank her? Your son is more than you could have ever dreamed for. He is so kind, gentle and considerate. He is creative, musical and fun loving. There is a sparkle in his eyes when he learns something new. It makes you want to learn it all over again too. There are no words in my language. I am unable to explain the blessing your son is to this world, our family and my life.

What kind of women welcomes infants into her home, to love and care for them as they wait for their forever families? How do I thank her? Noah's second mom was skilled in ways I will never be and provided for Noah so completely. Noah needed open heart surgery a few months after he was born to correct a large hole in his heart. His second mom expertly cared for Noah post heart surgery. Noah is completely cured with no side-effects from this life threatening birth defect. His second mom taught him to sit up, stand up and eventually take his first steps. She taught him how to love fish, rice and seaweed. She taught him his first words. She showed him how to be loved and how to love. What a gift. What a teasure.

I remember meeting Noah for the first time so vividly. I could not wait to know the everyday, common things about him. What did he smell like? What did he do for comfort? How did his Omma hold him when he was sad? What did his feet, hands, ears feel like? Noah was not so excited to leave the comforting back of his Omma during our first meeting. What a funny thing to witness - one room, 5 adults, one baby - the meeting of a family for the first time. I could hardly contain my desire to pick him up and smell him. He smelled like baby soap and was so clean.

And then, good byes, thank yous, see you in three days were offered and Noah and his Omma were off for a little alone time. How do you tour a city for three days knowing that your son is in the same city. Impossible, but we tried.

Three days finally passed. We made our way to the agency at the appointed time. It was hard to say good bye to Noah's foster mom. I was gratiful to see how deep she loved him. We prayed together for Noah's future, his salvation, his first mom and family. It was one of those moments in life where total joy and total sadness exist all at the same time. Overwhelming, completing, unexpressable.

How do I say thank to my son for letting me be a part of his amazing journey. How do I tell him how completely cool it is that I get to be the one that changes his diapers, teaches how to ride a bike, cheers when he graduates, watches from a distance when he falls in love, see him as a grown man. What an awesome privilage and gift. How do I say thank you?

Part Two - Two become Three

What does it look like when you “decide” you are ready to build your family? What I really believe is that we are blessed with the opportunity to pour into another person in such an intimate way; that we get to be involved in the making of another life, that we get to see life in a new, fresh way. I remember telling Brian I was going to attend an information meeting hosted by the Cradle in August 2005. I vaguely remember research adoption agencies in Seattle a few years after Brian and I were married but the Army life was clearly not ideal for family building so I postponed. I redirected to training my puppy Jack (this is a highly debated fact), building into my soldiers and traveling.

When life settled down and the predictable rhythm of 9 to 5 set in, Brian and I became ready to journey into parenthood.

Of course, after the first 30 minute information session, I was ready to bring a child home…Brian needed more time. Change is not high on his “let’s get going” list. Christine, our social worker, was amazing. She was a great teacher, confidant and counselor. She gave Brian and I great advice again and again. I am grateful for her meaningful, important influence in my life.

We submitted our initial application and attended our first 5 hour training course. I remember the first question that I asked the group of couples at our table was “So, how did you guys decided to adopt?” The couples got tears in their eyes, shared hard journeys through infertility, cancer, sadness, and turned to the hoped for a child. Brian and I woefully unprepared for this and did not know how to respond. We were just “exploring” what adoption might look like for our family. There was no sadness for us just anticipation for the great things to come – grateful for our lot.

I do remember crying after each meeting or class. Brian and I had many different ideas on what our new family should, would, could be. Our parenting styles are different, our decision making styles are different and sometimes (this might come as a shock) we are not the best communicators…It took 7 months to complete our home study but we ended up in a really good place.

With our home study and all other paper work complete, Children’s Home told us it would be several months (12+) until our referral. I checked the Rainbow Kid’s website everyday to see if our son was there. Three or so days after our home study was finished – there he was! I emailed our program director at Children’s just to get some more details and see if he was available for adoption. At first the answer was no and then two days later it was yes. We got Noah’s referral on a Wednesday afternoon in late May 2006. Can you say total and complete lack of concentration at work?

Brian and I had dinner at Taco’s El Norte (our favorite restaurant), read over his packet together and then – this was our son! How do I explain this moment? What does it look like when you become a mother? It was total joy. Total change. Total peace. That Sunday was my 1^st Mother’s Day and when the pastor had all the mothers stand up, I stood up too with Noah's sweet face in my mind :)

We waited three LONG months to travel to South Korea. To meet, hold, and smell Noah. It was hard to know our son was growing, learning to eat, learning to walk, learning to talk as we waited for a visa to travel. Brian and I named this time the "Summer of Leah and Brian" until I got stressed out and we renamed it the "Summer of Leah and Brian praising God." I am totally crazy...The normal course of business took place– baby showers, nursery preparation, baby announcements etc. And then, the invitation to travel!!!

To be continued...

By Request - A time before Noah (Part 1)

I pretty much knew what I wanted to be "when I grew up" at age 14. I think I remember the moment in 8th grade when I made the decision. I created my 20+ year road map to success and I was off. That's right folks, I was going to be the first women Army General of Southern Command. So, at 16 years old I left home for military boarding school in southern New Mexico. After high school, I was off to the United States Military Academy at West Point. West Point turned out to be a pretty good deal - my husband and I met during freshman year (something like love at first sight), began some of the most important friendships of my life, learned how to lead men in battle and I actually learned a little about myself. After 4 years of "Duty, Honor, Country", I was off to the United States Army as a new officer in the Quartermaster Corps.

Brian and I got married a few weeks after graduation. Although we had been dating for almost 4 years, all of it was long distance - North Carolina to New York. The honeymoon was the most consecutive days we had ever spent together. Interesting first year to say the least.

My first three years in the Army were great. The Army was about defeating communism and working out (someone forgot to tell "them" that the Cold War was over). Basically, it was like being full time in the Boy Scout's with better toys. And then 9/11 - everything changed but in a really, really cool way. The best way I can explain it is WWI poetry - all the excitement, glory, honor ...blah, blah, blah - we were exciting to take the forces of evil down. Everyone wanted to be the first to go. I finally got my turn in Fall 2003. My unit went going to Iraq in support of the 3rd Stryker Brigade.

Iraqi provided the opportunity for one of those rare life changing moments. You know, the kind where one minute you think one way and then in an instant everything is different. Totally changed. It was a few months after we arrived in Mosul, Iraqi. There was a helicopter crash and two pilots died. I got a call from some Major who wanted to bring the pilot's wife (another office) over to view the body. In War, even though it is so emotional, you don't really get to feel anything until you are no longer in war. It was hard to picture this very emotional, intimate moment in the middle of a war. Long story short - the wife came, we went to see the body, it was really sad, I was forever changed. No more General of Southern Command, and for the first time in my life I was not sure what I wanted to be when I grow up.

I arrived home from Iraqi 2 months before Brian's unit came home. During those two months I decided to would be a good idea to buy a house and get another dog. When Brian came home there was a full house wanting for him. He was not sure buying a house was a good idea because we were about to get out of the Army and most likely find jobs in another state, but supportive none-the-less. Again long story short, we found jobs in Chicago, found renters for our house, found a home for the 2nd dog and packed everything up for the big move. Then two weeks before our move, I felt "off" one day and it turned out to be an appendicitis. I almost died, spent two weeks in an Army hospital (almost died again), and totally changed (again).
This "life changing moment" was not so much in a moment but two weeks is a pretty much a moment in the course of a life.
Up to that point, I defined myself as an Army Officer. Everything I did or did not do was through that world view. After the emotional devastation of war and the physical devastation of almost dying, I was FINALLY ready to submit my life to Christ. I believed in Christ my whole life but did not live like I believed until this moment. I became a Christian, wife, lover, friend, daughter, sister, worker. With my Army days done (only took me a good 2 years to detox), Brian and I were off to new adventures in our totally un-sexy, slow pace, suburban, corporate, Mid-West life.to be continued....

A double yoke kind of day

This morning I cracked my first egg and it was a double yoke! I thought "what great luck". Well that is what I would have thought if I really was into the whole concept of luck. Then the next egg that I cracked open had a dead baby chicken in it. This was one of the most stinky experiences of my life. What kind of message am I supposed to take from this double yoke followed by a dead baby chicken moment? I couldn't even take a picture for my blog because it was so stinky - really one of the most stinky things I have ever smelled. It was it quick funeral...down the garage disposal followed by a whole lemon to kill the smell. Did I mention is was REALLY smelly?

Today was Noah's first day alone with lovely Jeeni. I think it went really well and I only cried once. They made a totally amazing craft. Way to go Jeeni - raising the crafting bar on day one!! Today was also my first day back to work in Chicago. My winter "training" (read vacation) is now over. This will be my first 4 day week. That is right folk, I am now offically part-time or 4/5th time. Just think, it is already hump day from me tomorrow and I have only worked one day. Pretty cool.

However, I'm still dreaming of the warm weather and the great company that Charlotte had to offer. Below are a few photos from our last weekend in Charlotte -

Big shout out to Mimi for taking care of Noah 10 whole days - the best used vacation days in my opinion. It was really, really fun hanging out with you.Uncle AJ is a total hottie. Girls - let me know if you want his number.

You can't really tell but I look just like my sister and brother only much shorter and well let's face it cuter.

And back by popular demand another Noah video...what a little man.