Sunday, March 6, 2011

Random Lady

Parenting Myra is not easy.  It is full of many wonderful, joy producing moments but sometimes it is just plan old hard.  She is our family's giver of joy, but often she is the one that takes away all the joy. More and more now, I'm learning how to help her deal with the world and there is a ton of hope.  Today was one of those days when things seemed less than hopeful.

You know it when she wakes up.  From the first minute she hits our bed I can tell what kind of day Myra will bring.  We all feel the effects of her difficult days, but Eden usually bears the brunt of Myra's aggressive behaviors.  After learning all the family names, Eden's next set words included My-My push and My-My bite.

Today was the hard kind of day.  By 4:30pm she was in full form. We took a short bike ride to visit a neighbor friend and Myra was unable to ride safely in the bike cart behind my bike.  After reminding her several times to keep her hands to herself I decided to allow her to run home versus continuing to hurt her sister.  There we were Myra running, me on the bike, Eden in the bike cart.  Myra was screaming, throwing herself on the ground every 30 feet, and giving me her signature mean face.  We were about a quarter of a mile from home.  I asked every ten feet if she was ready to get back into the bike cart.  She continue to choose running.  I would then remind her to pick up the pace.  "Ready to get back in? No! Pick up the pace then! Get your run on sister!"

A few blocks from home a pregnant woman stopped me and stated that what she was about to say was none of her business.  She asked why Myra was running and not in the bike cart.  She asked why I was allowing her to throw herself on the ground.  She commented that I needed to get better shoes for Myra.  I was hot but I tried to keep to cool.  I smiled and let her know that it was none of her business.  Not the fastest thinking on the block.  Next time I think I will say..."I know. I totally agree with you EXCEPT for the part about her shoes (See Kai Run are not bad or cheap).  It is terrible and I wish things were different for my sweet daughter.  It is hard learning how to live with a disability and it breaks my heart to see her struggle.  Running is a great, healthy way for her to learn to regulate.  Thank you for caring so much about children."

This marks the first time someone has randomly commented on how Myra and I deal with her limitations.  It was hard, sad, frustrating and I'm still trying to get it together.  I want things to be easier for Myra.  I dream of a different way for her.  Both of those things are not to be and we, together, will have to learn how to help her function and reach her full potential.

Dinner tonight was AWESOME.  Myra was able to feed herself.  She was able to eat all her food.  She used an inside voice.  She took her bath without screaming.  She let me rock her and give her a good night kiss.  Running a quarter of a mile while scream is just what she needed today.  I think I will repeat tomorrow....maybe she will be able to join the family for evening story, singing and praying time!  Let's hope the random lady see us again tomorrow so I can have a do over and let her know how I really feel.


Me. Us. She. said...

Oh those random ladies of the world - trying to do right but oh so wrong!! We had a random lady stop us on a walk once and say we were abusing our dog. (A dog that was totally violent and out of control towards other dogs and had to be walked with a gentle leader around her muzzle.) Yeah, thanks random lady. I really needed your input.

I think running is a GREAT way for Myra to get the energy moving in the right direction. Might be a start of a great track career!

Shannon- said...

Running=Magic. No kidding. I started bringing him into the Y track a half hour before his gymnastics class just to run and hope to spare his poor gymnastics teacher the full frustration that she normally exhibits. But- being consistent and doing it a few times a week has been borderline miraculous round these parts! Keep Going. Next time bring a stop watch and tell the lady "sorry can't stop- she's gotta make the 4 minute mile by age 5. And next week she starts running barefoot"

courtney said...

you notice the "helpful" lady was pregnant. In a few yrs when she is walking/running with a toddler of her own, she will think to herself, wow, now I'm the one with the child screaming and throwing theirselves on the ground, possibly in socks that dont match, and shoes too small, with chocolate on their face, in long sleeve shirt (even though it is 90) because that is what it took to get out of the house to go on the walk so that I can escape from the house where I have been screamed at for the last hour. we all know what all that feels like and more!

vanilla143 said...

Keep being the Mamma that God leads you to be. Sounds like My-My needed that run. God gave My-My her Mamma for a reason. God bless you and Myra as you walk thru this time.

Rafael Martins said...
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Annie said...

Very tough day. I know this has been extremely difficult learning of these diabilities, especially given the challenges you face with the other children. Amid the difficulty you still seem to have the vision for what it is you are trying to accomplish as a mother. I am very impressed and look up to you so much. Only God can give that kind of strength, drive and determination.

Leah, I so enjoed catching up. I rejoiced with you as I read about the camping trip.

Good job Noah no the orange belt. Vance misses him a lot and still thinks he has to go back to Korea to see him. Sending all our love.